Looking autistic

We did a (successful!) photo shoot with Soren and our new-to-us dog, Moses, at a beautiful Seattle park this week. Our wonderful in-home ABA behavioral technician, Breanna (@breannasandefurphotography), is also an amazing photographer who totally loves and gets Soren, so she got some amazing shots, including many with Soren happily looking at the camera, which is rare for us.

There are so many shots of Soren where he looks like typical 10-year-old--confident, goofy, sensitive, a little sassy.

And then there are those in which he looks just a tad...different. You know when you see these photos that something is just a tiny bit off from what you'd expect. Maybe it's the flapping, the skipping, the sucking on his ID necklace. Maybe it's not looking at the camera. Simply put, he looks autistic.

Seven years ago--heck, maybe even just last year--I would have shown you only the first set of photos. I've been reflecting on why that was. I would have wanted to show you a typical shot and think, "See, my kid can be beautiful and look normal and you wouldn't even know...." I would have wanted the typical experience of a photo shoot, something to cross off on my parenting checklist. I would have wanted what you have regularly without giving it a second thought--the effortless photos, ready to overshare on social media. If I squinted my eyes just a bit, this would look like an everyday, typical experience, and that was important for me to portray. For my sake.

But the second batch is Soren, too. Maybe more so. They are the ones that tug on my heart more, because these are the unique boy that I know and love. And lately, showing you only the first set of photos seems like faking, or even lying. You should know and see all of this boy, not just the parts of him that look typical and that don't make you or me feel uncomfortable.

I don't believe Soren is embarrassed by any traits or behaviors of his that stick out. If you could have seen him prancing around and grinning in that park, so excited to just run around in a huge space, you'd agree that he was wholly himself. He can't help but show that fullness to the world.

So today I'm going to show you Soren's whole person, without any hesitation. Look, everyone. This is my boy. All of him. Isn't he amazing?!